Some Like It Hot
by Cerih
Summary: Jack was the undisputed king of sexual harassment at Torchwood. That is, until Ianto decided to teach him how to make coffee. Ianto/Jack


Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to BBC, not me. This was written just for fun.

Author's note: This is first part of a trilogy of stories focusing on sexual harassment at Torchwood. Each will be posted as a separate story and indeed stand alone to some extent. The next one (Revenge Is Best Served…) is already written, but the final part is still merely a wicked idea in my head.

There are no particular spoilers and indeed I don't have a particular point in canon in mind for this.

I remain, as ever, indebted to my beta, Darcy58. His enjoyment of my stories is the greatest encouragement to continue writing and experimenting. Any mistakes that linger are mine and mine alone.

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Some Like It Hot

A knock on the door roused Jack from his thoughts. He looked up to see Ianto standing in the doorway, waiting to be acknowledged. Jack felt his eyebrows rise when he took in Ianto's appearance. He had shed his black suit jacket and his sleeves were rolled up. The deep red waistcoat still remained; a stark contrast to his white shirt, but the matching red tie had been slightly loosened. Ianto was of course still dressed far smarter than any of the other team members, but nevertheless this was almost casual for him.

"Sir, you wanted to see me?" Ianto prompted him gently, when Jack failed to do anything other than stare at him. Curiously he did not appear bothered by the intense scrutiny.

"Ah, yes. Would you mind making me a cup of coffee?" Jack asked with his best puppy eyes impression.

"Did I not ask you half an hour ago whether you wanted another coffee?" Ianto queried with a tiniest hint of exasperation.

"Err, you did," Jack admitted. "But you see, at that stage I hadn't picked up Tosh's report on the correlation between Rift spikes and Weevil sightings that result in human casualties. It's brilliant, of course, since she prepared it, but it also doesn't make for the lightest of reading for the evening. So I could really do with that coffee, please?"

"I have a better idea," Ianto said as a dangerous glint appeared in his eyes. "Come with me. Sir."

"I do have this report to read," Jack started to protest, but the way Ianto tilted his head to the side allowed for no objections and Jack found himself getting up and walking around his desk before he even realised what was happening.

Ianto led him away from the work stations and into the small kitchenette just off the central Hub area.

"I've put this off long enough, but it's about time we do this," Ianto said, turning to face Jack with a stern expression.

"Do what exactly?" Jack ventured to ask, while his mind was furiously coming up with possibilities as to what Ianto might be referring to as "this" and rating his thoughts in an order of preference.

"You are going to learn how to use the coffee maker," Ianto stated and then gave Jack a pointed look. "And I do mean use it properly."

"But, but, you make the coffee." Jack looked slightly horrified at the prospect of having to make his own coffee instead of enjoying Ianto's divine brews.

"I do and I will continue to do so in general." Ianto nodded. "But I had just sat down in the archives to deal with a major collection of artefacts all from the same Rift spike and I had looked forward to at least a couple of hours of uninterrupted work time. Which is precisely the reason why I asked if you wanted a coffee half an hour ago, so I wouldn't get interrupted straight away. So when you want a coffee and I'm busy, you can bloody well make it yourself."

Jack was startled by the vehemence of Ianto's words, but he could not help thinking that decisive and in control Ianto was really a very alluring sight. He knew that he was getting side tracked from the task at hand, which was him learning to make coffee, but Ianto's usual mask had slipped a little and Jack found that incredibly appealing. In fact, he was tempted to push Ianto even further, just to see what kind of reaction he could provoke.

"Incidentally," Ianto continued when Jack merely stared at him with a slightly predatory glint in his eyes, "if you do anything to the coffee machine other than follow my instructions to the letter, I will have you scrubbing clean every last bit of it on a daily basis for a month, whilst drinking decaf. And I should warn you, it hasn't been cleaned for quite some time."

"I thought you were going to do it yesterday?" Jack asked with a frown, certain he had heard Ianto say so.

"Something came up."

"Dare I ask what came…up?" Jack leered at him.

"I think I'll leave it up to your imagination, Sir," Ianto responded evenly.

"Are you sure that's wise? I have an excellent imagination."

"I know," Ianto said and moved to stand behind Jack. He leaned in closer to whisper "so do I."

Jack tried to whirl around, but a firm hand on his hip stopped him. Instead, Ianto turned him so he was facing the coffee machine. Once he let his hand slip off Jack's hip, Jack immediately missed the warmth of the contact. "Time to get started, Jack."

Ianto pointed at the row of jute sacks on the counter next to the coffee maker. "First you need to pick out the type of beans you wish to use. I suggest that for now you stick to the sack closest to you, as it contains the standard variety. When you're more experienced, you can start experimenting with different combinations. But not until I say so."

"Do you have a scoop for the beans?" Jack asked, looking around the counter.

"I prefer to use a more personal way of measuring them," Ianto explained. "Go on, take a handful."

"Just like that?"

"Yes, just like that."

With a shrug Jack dipped his hand into the bag and cupped his palm to capture a handful of the small beans. He lifted his hand carefully, mindful of the beans spilling back into the sack. Tilting his head to the side he glanced at Ianto to gauge his reaction to the amount he had on his palm.

"That's a little too much," Ianto said thoughtfully and before Jack had time to do anything, he reached forward to sweep some of beans back in the sack. As he did so, his warm finger tips brushed against Jack's palm, sending tiny sparks of electricity running up his arm. Jack found himself wishing Ianto would continue stroking his palm, but the contact ended far too soon.

"That's better."

"Now what?" Jack queried, trying to memorise the rough amount of coffee beans he was holding.

"Time to grind your beans," Ianto all but purred behind Jack. The sound sent a shiver down his spine and he swallowed uneasily, doing his best to keep his focus on learning the art of coffee making. Ianto was not making it easy for him and Jack briefly wondered if he was deliberately trying to arouse him or whether he was utterly oblivious to the effect he was having.

Ianto directed Jack's attention to the grinder on the other side of the coffee machine and he opened the wooden lid on the top so that Jack could pour the beans in.

"The smoother you grind your beans, the smoother the coffee will be," Ianto advised him as he closed the lid.

Jack gripped the handle on the side of the grinder and started turning it, gaining speed until a hand over his own stopped him.

"You have to be gentle, Jack," Ianto softly rebuked him, impossibly close behind him without actually touching. "That sort of fast erratic movement may get you there quicker, but that's not the point here. Calm, steady strokes will make it so much better in the end."

As he spoke, Ianto started guiding Jack's hand around, the movement matching his words. Ianto's voice, as well as the words he was saying, blurred in Jack's mind as he watched the movement of their overlapping hands. His heart began to race as he considered what else might benefit from calm, steady strokes. Sweat began beading on his forehead. He was now certain Ianto knew precisely what he was doing.

Jack was having trouble keeping his breathing, under control by the time Ianto deemed the beans suitably ground. Every time Ianto exhaled behind him, the warm air tickled the short hairs at the back of his neck and made him imagine that hot breath on all the different regions of his body. As a result, his trousers were becoming tighter by the minute and he did not particularly want to show Ianto just what sort of effect the simple act of grinding coffee beans was having. He was not certain he was going to get through the entire lesson process without snogging Ianto senseless or exposing the effect of Ianto's lesson.

Ianto detached the porta-filter of the coffee maker that would hold the coffee grounds and handed it to Jack. "The amount you ground should be just enough to fill this, but you will need to tamp it down. Any more than that and you might have to worry about it spilling over."

Ianto spoke the last three words impossibly slowly and Jack's eyes fluttered close on their own accord. That cursed accent could conjure up incredibly erotic imagines from the most innocuous words. It was becoming increasingly clear that Ianto knew exactly what effect his accent had on Jack and he seemed to be making the most of it.

Jack's hand trembled as he pulled the lever that released the coffee grounds into the porta-filter he was holding. He carefully tamped them down and then covered them with the fine mesh lid. Ianto's fingers curling over his hip bone nearly made him drop everything, but he regained control over his fingers at the last moment. The impossibly warm fingers applied pressure against his hip until he moved sideways to face the coffee maker. The machine gleamed on the counter and looked far too complicated for his lust-addled brain.

Ianto leaned past him to switch on the machine and their bodies finally came into passing contact. Jack immediately felt much warmer, as Ianto's skin burned through the thin layer of his shirt like it was on fire. His mind wandered to how that skin would feel like against his own, but Ianto's low words stopped that particular thought from going much further:

"The machine is connected to the mains, so it picks up and heats the water automatically. I installed additional lime scale filters, so the insides of the machine are not clogged up with the damn stuff."

"Wouldn't want you wasting your time having to flush out the machine.," Jack nodded in understanding.

Ianto all but purred in his ear. "Indeed, the white stuff gets everywhere."

Jack choked on his saliva and ended up coughing to catch his breath. Ianto let out a slow laugh and Jack felt it reverberate against his back more than he heard the sound. It was a delicious sensation and he wondered how he might engineer for a similar situation to occur again.

"Now you need to refit the porta-filter in the machine and then let water run through it to brew the coffee. Let me just grab a coffee pot." Ianto shifted to the side and his groin brushed against Jack's hip, providing the first real indication that Ianto was not quite as immune to the game he was playing as Jack had initially thought. He took the offered pot from Ianto, deliberately letting their fingers linger together.

As Ianto explained and demonstrated the next step, Jack eased his weight backwards until his back was flush against Ianto's front. He then shifted to the side, smirking triumphantly when Ianto's words faltered briefly. Bringing himself quickly under control Ianto directed Jack back to his original position in front of the machine with a stern, "Focus, Jack."

"I thought I was."

"On the coffee, Jack."

"Damn."

With a slight huff of exasperation, Ianto continued with the lesson. "While you wait for the coffee to brew, you need to heat the milk." As he spoke, Ianto retrieved the milk from the fridge and poured some of it into a metal jug. "Here. You need to place the jug so that the steam wand is submerged in the milk and then switch it on for the desired time."

"How hot should I make it?"

"As hot as you wish." Jack could feel Ianto's shrug behind him. "Some like it hot."

"Do you like it hot?" Jack turned his head to the side as he asked the question, the movement bringing his lips very close to Ianto's.

Ianto leaned to the side, so his lips brushed against Jack's ear as he spoke. "Oh yes, I like it hot and steamy."

A tremor ran through Jack, making the milk jug rattle. Ianto chuckled softly and the low sound caused Jack to unconsciously lean back a little further into Ianto's personal space. He could smell Ianto's aftershave; a rich and spicy scent that he very much wanted to explore further. Bringing himself under control with some difficulty he switched off the steam wand. He could not honestly say how long he had been heating the milk, but it mattered very little. Producing a decent cup of coffee had plummeted way down his list of priorities.

"What happens now?"

"I can certainly think of a few possibilities," Ianto chuckled, impossibly close behind and yet still just out of reach.

"I feel we ought to discuss your possibilities at some length," Jack growled, feeling distinctly at a disadvantage by not being able to see Ianto. "Perhaps in my office, once the others have gone home for the night?"

"I'll take that under consideration …Sir."

The sensual way Ianto spoke the word 'Sir' created another jolt of pleasure. Jack wondered in what other sort of circumstances he could elicit the word from Ianto and what it would sound like when Ianto lost his famous, unwavering control. He wanted to be there when it happened; he wanted to be the reason for Ianto becoming undone.

But for now, Ianto was in control and Jack was happy to leave himself in Ianto's capable hands. Much to his surprise, Ianto's hand slipped off his hip as he stepped away. Jack was finally free to turn around, which he did, watching Ianto retrieve a coffee cup from a nearby cupboard.

Handing the cup over, Ianto tilted his head to one side and said with a smile: "Now all there's left to do is combine the two elements. I prefer to pour the coffee and the milk into the cup simultaneously, because I like the way they mix naturally. But I will leave that up to you."

"I trust your judgement," Jack was quick to assure him as he set the cup on the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot, adding the milk with his other hand.

"There you go, Sir. You can now taste the results of all your efforts."

"Not all of them, unfortunately," Jack muttered with a hint of regret. He offered the cup to Ianto, eager to seek his approval, but Ianto shook his head.

"No, you go ahead. You made it, you should be the first one to try it."

"You don't think it'll be any good, do you?"

"I have a suspicion that your attention may not have been entirely on making coffee," Ianto replied evenly, but the corner of his mouth lifted slightly in contained amusement.

"And whose fault is that?"

Ianto said nothing, merely quirked an eyebrow and nodded towards the cup of coffee.

Jack took a tentative sip and then frowned.

"It's not as good as yours." He sounded disappointed and just a touch annoyed.

Ianto let out a low, deep chuckle that resonated through Jack and went straight to his groin. Taking a step forward, Ianto brought himself within inches of Jack's left side, and leaned forward to whisper:

"It's never going to be as good as if I was doing it." The heat in his eyes made Jack struggle to swallow around his suddenly dry mouth.

Ianto stayed close for a moment and Jack could again feel the heat radiating from his body. His eyes flicked to Jack's lips and he licked his own lips seemingly without realising. Jack was certain Ianto was going to kiss him and his heart rate quickened further at the prospect. Much to his disappointment, Ianto stepped back and straightened his waistcoat.

"Now that the lesson is complete, I must get back to the archives," he said, suddenly all business. All the heat had vanished and his usual polite mask was back in place. "Don't forget to clean up after yourself here. Have a good night, Sir."

"Oh, you can count on it," Jack said with a grin, already planning on rushing upstairs to save the CCTV footage from their lesson to a personal folder, so he could revisit it at his leisure.

Ianto walked from the kitchenette and headed towards the archives. Jack leaned against the doorframe and watched him go, taking his time to appreciate the view. Ianto did look good both from the front and from behind. He idly wondered whether Ianto might be open to the idea of more coffee making lessons. He had a feeling he had not paid enough attention to all the finer details of the way Ianto went about coffee making.

Besides, he too liked it hot.


End file.
